Sunday, January 27, 2013

Critics Consensus: Parker

Hi! We are Critics Consensus. We post the regular critics opinion for video games and movies! Today it is Parker, Jason Statham's new movie.
Jason Statham is like a machine that pumps out movies Transporter,Killer Elite,Safe, and now Parker. This has got to be one of the worst weeks for film in 2013.
Parker is not a great movie. It's not like it's bad but it's generic and mediocre. To sum it up as Rolling Stone said "Parker" winds up with the worst of both worlds: It's pointlessly violent and nauseatingly cute. That's about right. Jason Statham is now a genre of movie.
Overall do not see this movie.
Parker is rated R,

Critics Consensus: John Dies At The End

Hi! We are Critics Consensus. We post the regular critics opinion for video games and movies! Today it is John Dies At The End a new indie horror film.
John Dies At The End has been getting a lot of reception because of it's interesting title, interesting plot and interesting development process. The film was made on literally the cost of a lunch at Starbucks. Somehow they got Paul Giamatti in there.
John Dies At The End is about a drug that an out of body experience with each hit. Two friends try it out and well I think the title already spoiled it for you a little bit. It's is not the greatest movie with a 57 on both fronts (Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes) but as The New Movie Thing Show said it's a good movie to brighten up your day.
Overall see this movie if you want to.
John Dies At The End is rated R.

Critics Consensus: Movie 43

Hi! We are Critics Consensus. We post the regular critics opinion for video games and movies! Today it is Movie 43 a new movie full of a stadiums worth of recognized actors. That will ruin their career forever.

When I saw the trailer for Movie 43 I died a little inside. All these actors, all this money being thrown at the camera and yet indie comedies struggle to get made while this piece of trash exists. The least Movie 43 could do was get a 43% percent on Rotten Tomatoes.
It got a 5%. Emma Stone, Hugh Jackman, Justin Long, Gerald Butler, Johnny Knoxville,Naomi Watts, and Kristen Bell should all hang their heads in shame. Your agents must me drunk. "Movie 43" is the "Citizen Kane" of awful.
Overall please do not see this movie. I'll give you 5 bucks. 
Movie 43 is rated R.

Critics Consensus: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Hi! We are Critics Consensus. We post the regular critics opinion for video games and movies! Today it is hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Now I am certain Hollywood is gonna make a movie about microwaves.

January is a fairly crappy release for feature films. So far it's the 27th and there has only been one OK movie. No good one's though. It is also filled to the brim with releases that are obviously crap. Take this movie for example and instead of explaining why it sucks which I usually do let's laugh at what the critics said.
Rolling Stone said that it was the longest ninety minutes you have ever spent in a theater,USA Today said that it was so many genre's at once that it was genre stew, and lastly Not only is not even a single character more than one-dimensional, but every line falls flatter than a witch dispatched with a Gatling gun. Thank you The Playlist you gave me a much needed laugh.
Overall do not see this movie. It is made by stupid people for stupid people. Typical Hollywood.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is rated R.